Ruined Life
As we sat down in the office, Bob put his head in his hands and reported that his life “was ruined.” As Bob told the story his feeling shifted from anxiety to anger. He kept saying, “My future is doomed; I can’t live without her.” Bob also repeatedly said he was scared, more scared than any time in his life. He constantly expressed that he did not know what to do and was “unable to handle” the situation. He was angrily saying that he made too many wrong decisions and he “owed too much.” He admitted suicidal ideations but had no clear plans on which he could act. He stated he could not kill himself because he loved and wanted to live for his children.
At this point, the clinician again expressed his sorrow about the loss and said that the death of a spouse is difficult. At this statement Bob looked up and stated, “Yeah, espe- cially when she is the one who makes all the money.” This statement surprised the clini- cian, and he asked Bob what he needed to talk about. At this point, Bob disclosed that his wife was the “breadwinner,” and that he had no idea how he would be able to keep up with the mortgage, let alone “every other bill.” He said he was extremely sad about her death and loved her, but his biggest concern was money. Bob stated he had extended family and friends to help him with her death. What he needed help figuring out was how he was going to support his family.
